yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm
yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.
And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.
this is the best thing ive ever heard
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
MORE EYEBROW JOKES
Coco Peru plays Grand Theft Auto 5 (x)
Step it up trixie
THAT IS PAULINA NOT TRIXIE TANG YOU UNEDUCATED NOODLE
more Mako & company
"Girls are so important
holyshit how am I even girl
holyshit girls are great
- my thought process just about everyday
there is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face
when you wanna draw but yoU CAN’T FUCKING DRAW
big dumb bear’s first kiss with sweaty giraffe
happy eaters :3